The "Good" "Family"

Seif Allah and Nazly

A few years ago the wise men of a forgotten kingdom near Nepal asked me a question: "Why is it the good people on this earth seem to be the most affected by tragedies"? It immediately brought back to my mind a saying we use very often in our Islamic culture which is  "المؤمن مصاب"  In other traditions sayings like "Only the good die young" exist. Even the Bible contains words to that effect. In Isaiah 57:1 "The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil."

The question these wise men raised has so many philosophical answers. We can debate them at length amongst ourselves; however the first premise still stands. The "good" are affected the most.

Farida and Amin

There is not a single family I know of who is as "good" as the "family" Amin El Sawaf and Farida El Lozy created.

From the very early years of their marriage, I closely watched them raise their children: Dina, Nazly, Amr and Yasmine. The love, freedom, joy, playfulness, simplicity, and selflessness abundant in every corner of their relationships. Their style of life was infectious and made better parents of all those who were around them. We got to know Tarek and Sherifa, children of the beautiful Malak El Lozy and Hassan El Sawaf. Ahmed El Badry and Hisham. Senico and Nounie. And the list can go on, and on. Then our children  warmly became their children. Their extended "family" became their "family". Their friends became their "family". The people who worked for them became their "family". Even the beautiful dogs they had, and the ones they gave us, became "of" the "family". We all became better people because we became part of this "family".

Amin and Farida moved on to marry their children to the best. Dina to Bosaty, Nazly to Seif, Amr to Rawya, and Nouna to Yehia. We all celebrated with them these delightful unions. They bore them wonderful grandchildren, and the "family" grew even more. The grandchildren of their friends became part of the "family". What a sight they all are when they meet up in their house in El Gouna. There is nothing but "good" in these gatherings. And the more this "family" grew, and the more there was "good"!

At a time like this, no words can comfort. They shall silently grieve, and heal, in their own way. We shall silently stand by them.

I now, more than ever, have become a true believer that the "good" are the most tested in our earthly life. We shall therefore accept the will of God. We shall send Nazly our warmest rays of light. You now truly know, sweet Nazly, how much we love you. You now see right through our hearts. We tell you Nazly that the "good" you, and your family, have shared with us will protect your Seif, and your beautiful children. The "good" in you will watch over them, and us. All of your sweetest of memories shall reside in a beautiful place in their, and our, hearts.

Love

and more Love

The following words of this unknown poet struck me as so relevant, and these are the words that will sum up how this "good" family will move on:

You can shed tears that she is gone,

or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,

or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone,

or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what she'd want:

smile, open your eyes, love and go on.